Both me in the present and my younger self, don’t drink coffee. We both arrived early with our book – funny to think that we both expect to wait hahaha. She brought the book she lent from the library, I brought the book I bought last month. I ordered Strawberry Cheesecake and she ordered Matcha.
She’s still 17 years old and full of hope; ten years have passed, and I am still full of hope, although I must admit that life has crushed my hope many times over the last 10 years. She has this big smile. Do I still have it? I wonder to myself.
She asked how am I doing now. I said that we’re doing well.
“I am working as a writer now. Not the kind of writer that you had in mind, as a journalist in a media, but for an environmental organisation.”
She looked at me in awe but also a little bit confused.
“I have never imagined that I would still be writing for work. I guess writing does change my life. But how come environmental organisation?” she asked.
“You joined the extracurricular for nature lovers, right? Since then, you’ve grown to be more into nature and its issues. It is our dream place to work, WWF. And I work fully in English! Can you believe it? I took an IELTS test a few months ago and got 7.5!”
She gave me a weird look but nodded. After all, nature has always been my interest. But in high school, my dream was to be a journalist and travel the world. Hahahaha. But she was taken aback by the English part.
“Whoaa! So cool! English class still terrifies me. I have never been sure about my answers in the tests.”
“No worries, you’re doing okay. We just learn it slowly compared to others. We also get to travel a lot! I have had a lot of opportunities to meet many amazing and kind people who have helped me up to this point.”
She looked excited, just nodding and waiting for me to continue my story.
“Just last year, I went to Banyuwangi, Bali, Makassar, Jogja, Solo, and Jember. I went to Bali and Makassar for writers festival. I learn a lot from those experiences.”
I sipped my drink, and she did too. Then I continue.
“Kindness. We share kindness, and we get a lot of kindness from many people – even strangers. This one particular value, you must keep it at all times. Although, it might be hard at some point in life, but we made it!” I smiled but also felt a little bit emotional. I realised that I had come so far.
“Do you still write blogs?” she asked.
“Yes! Although I stopped for some time, I’m now back on my blog! You must know, that you must keep writing and express your thoughts and feelings. I think I did it better when I was at your age than now. I used to be better at regulating my feelings, I think,” I got embarrassed as I realised that she does it better.
She smiled shyly.
“But you know, being a K-pop fan really helps me stay sane in this chaotic world!”
“Whaaaatt? A kpop fans?!”
We laughed. Then I explained to her about BTS, who has debuted for 2 years, and Seventeen, who will debut later that year. I said that she might not be interested in them yet as I found them at the time when I needed them the most.
She looked at me weirdly. But it’s normal tho, as I supposed she wouldn’t understand it now.
“A boy has broken my heart too,” I added.
“What?! You had a boyfriend?”
We laughed again.
“I have never thought how in the world I would get a boyfriend. I mean, I have crushes, but the boy never looked at me.”
“Hahaha, you won’t meet anyone in high school, tho. Also, better to just enjoy your moment and focus on yourself. But you know, it’s good to have your first heartbreak. You could listen and relate to the broken heart songs better! Hahaha..”
“Are you doing okay? I couldn’t have imagined how it feels..”
“Yes. We have always been okay with ourselves, right?”
She nodded and smiled.
“Is there anything I should know from now?”
“Hrmmm… Nothing in particular. You just have to be yourself, be brave, and be kind. I do have some regrets from the past, but I grateful for everything that has happened. I think you always make good choices for yourself, that’s what led me to where I am now. There are times when the doubts fill your heart and mind, and it’s suffocating. Just remember that nothing lasts forever. High school was one of the most important periods of my life, but more to come.”
Then, the time is up, and we’re back to our own timeline.
Overall, there’s nothing much has changed over the past 10 years. I still hold on to the same values and dreams, but a lot has happened, and so has my perspective on life.
I look forward to meeting my older self, 10 years from now.
VERONICAKUDO 
Leave a comment