Why being normal, if I can be weird and unique?

Convenience Store Women adalah buku pertama Sayaka Murata yang aku baca. Meskipun tidak asing dengan buku-buku Jepang, tapi aku cenderung memilih buku-buku misteri sehingga meskipun buku ini sudah menjadi buy listku sejak awal tahun, baru di akhir tahun 2024 aku membeli dan membacanya.

Overall, sangat menyenangkan membacanya. Seperti tipikal buku-buku jepang lainnya alurnya sangat mudah diikuti. Sederhana, namun penuh dengan makna.

The convenience store comes with a guidance book

Dunia sulit menerima Keiko dengan cara pikir dan perspektifnya yang berbeda dari masyarakat pada umumnya.

Feeling out of place her whole life, Keiko found her place when she works part time in the convenience store. Because it comes with a guidance book, which it helps her to navigate how she acts and responds.

Aku bisa merasakan frustrasinya Keiko ketika harus berinteraksi dan terus menerka dan mencoba menyesuaikan diri dengan lingkungannya – dan betapa leganya ketika ia bisa memasang ‘label diri’ sebagai pegawai minimarket dan bertindak sesuai buku panduan.

Kalau dipikir-pikir, setelah aku lulus kuliah juga I felt a little lost. I don’t know what to do and no one is telling me to. Agak lucu sebenarnya, waktu masih kecil kita rasanya paling benci disuruh tidur, makan, bangun untuk sekolah, dsb. Tapi nyatanya kebebasan juga tidak sebebas itu, malah membingungkan dan melelahkan.

Tentang Menjadi Normal

Life doesn’t come with a guidance book that defines how to live as a normal person.

Although we have the definition of normality, but the real question is: why should we become the usual and typical? The unusual isn’t necessarily bad, tho.

Dalam buku ini, Keiko, si tokoh utama terus menerus mendapat desakan untuk menjadi ‘normal’ dengan mengikuti ‘standar hidup’ manusia pada umumnya: bekerja, menikah, dan memiliki anak. Padahal ia juga nggak merugikan orangtua atau saudara atau teman-temannya dengan tidak melakukan semua hal tersebut.

She chose a slightly different path compared to her peers as if it were a big deal. They try to ‘heal’ her. But she is not sick. Even though Keiko has friends besides her colleagues from the convenience store, she become an outcast to them. They want her to be normal like them. And that’s what the society has been telling us our whole life.

Personal revelation about being normal

I used to try to become as normal as possible by copying what others do and act. What clothes to wear, what opinion should I express, or what is the best way to be accepted into a certain group or situation.

But as I grow older, I slowly learn that the normal isn’t always what I want. Then, I learned to express more of what I think, wear clothes that I want to, and just be me. It’s a working progress tho. Most of the time, ‘the being normal’ autoresponse still wins as I’m battling myself.

I do little dance in public, and I don’t mind to be perceived as weird — and I will continue to do so. I wear colorful clothes and fangirling over my favorite idols on my social media. The point is: I express myself.

Look inside: decide how you want to live your life

In the end, we live in a society. Being the best version of ourselves without disrupting others’ is the way to go. Also, to not comparing our life because life is supposed to be different and unique.