It’s been a while since I last wrote down on my blog. A lot of things have changed and yet somehow I’m still the same person (with different life conditions). In general, I’m very grateful for all the changes that have happened in my life and yeah.. life goes on.
And I find it funny (and yet insightful) how I always come back to my blog for the 12483373x times when I feel like my life is changing – like a lot. I guess this blog is my safe place, my sanctuary. This is somehow private and also available to the public. Although I know the viewers have been close to none for the last few years due to the fact that I did, in fact, abandon this blog for quite some time.
Okay! Enough with the chit-chat, as I mentioned in the title and in this paragraph, I’m going through some major changes in my life. I didn’t say that I have it all figured out, but I just want to share (while also documenting) my journey here. Mainly for myself to read in the future and laugh about it – and it would be good if other people would find even the slightest insight or comfort in my writing.
Finding the comfort place: journal, friends, or cry while watching sad movies
First things first, not all your life aspects are changing at the same time, right? It might be many but not ALL of it. — I said so to myself. That is why I started looking back at my blog and decided to start blogging again. Other than my blog, I’ve also been keeping journals for the past 3 years (which has helped me through some of my darkest times in 2021 during the pandemic – but we’ll talk about that later).
Writing has always been a big part of my life since forever and apart from the fact that I earn my living through writing, it has become one of the forms of therapy in my everyday life. When life is too overwhelming, I write it all down – you know the human brain can’t take it all; we do have great power, but if I had my pen and notes, it wouldn’t hurt to pour it all. Also, it’s better with the visualization to remind me that the condition might not be as bad as I thought in my little head.
Other than isolating myself from the world and writing in my own journal, I’m blessed by the fact that I have my friends who’ll hear me out and offer comfort. When life makes you a bit insane, you can always go insane together, right? 🤣 — Also, on a more serious note, talking it out does feel better than leaving it all bottled up in my chest and head (believe me, this is not suggested).
The last time I cried, it was because I was watching the series “Young Sheldon” and his father died. I knew this because I watched “The Big Bang Theory” series and it has been mentioned a few times. But somehow, with all that’s going on in my life and how they portrayed grief from Sheldon’s point of view, it is somehow really heartbreaking. The emotional thing is not his thing, yet I was crying like crazy watching those two episodes.
POV: it might not be a big deal aka it’s not the end of the world
While cleaning up the blog categorization and stuff, I read some of my blog posts and can’t even recall having those experiences. One or some setbacks in life won’t ruin your life, Ver. I said so to myself.
If today, the week, the month, or even the year might not be my year, and the days feel terrifying and seem dark – it still wouldn’t define the life that I have. One mistake wouldn’t hurt, and my life is a constellation of all my mistakes.
Implementing this kind of perspective is hard – but once I learned that life is dynamic and there are TOO MANY factors that I can’t control, I learned to let go. It’s a learning curve, of course. Not all theories can be applied as simply as that cause we’re fighting with ourselves, and that’s the hardest thing.
The book “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” by Haemin Sunim is a great book for practicing this perspective. It has been some time since I finished that book, but you know, how a book makes you feel will always linger.
A little escape: books, museum visits, afternoon walks, or, in short: namjooning
In the book “More Days at The Morisaki Bookshop” a character throws herself into reading if the world feels too overwhelming to her. This is one of the best strategies I could offer to let myself ‘escape’ for a moment into another story, another universe within our mind. I am currently reading several books, and one of them is “Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Power of Gratitude: 101 Stories about How Being Thankful Can Change Your Life“.
At the museum, I try hard to absorb as many new things as possible – and this definitely takes my mind off my own nonsense! Hahaha.. I am fascinated by the history and how the previous chapter in human history shapes us today. Also, museums give me this specific comfort feeling that I don’t get it elsewhere— (but I do have some exceptions on some museums I visited – let’s not talk about that now tho)
As for walking… I have too many things to say!! I love walking. It’s also a way for me to absorb as many things as possible when visiting a new city or area. Not just physical benefits, walking is proven to improve mood, reduce stress, and help with anxiety and depression. It’s ALWAYS a good time to go for a walk.
In conclusion: life goes on
Life goes on, and I am so blessed with every opportunity and experience in my life. I’m so thankful for all the people who have supported me in any way. I guess when life gets me down, the power of gratitude gives me the boost of hope I need in my life. Kindness has always been my number one drive in life, and I will always try my best to implement that in my life.
I want to close this post with this song.
VERONICAKUDO 
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